Welcome. Turn your head sidewards and cough.

I'd like to take this opportunity to introduce myself. I will instead shit out some cold hard god damn truth nuggets into your brain via your bloodshot eyes.

Fact #1) Old people are shit heads.

Fact #2) Hating things is an awesome way to pass the time, and a great way to meet new, hateful people.

Fact #3) Michael Bay's mother was raped by an explosion. He is the byproduct of that penetration.

Fact #4) If I were to sponsor a polar bear, I'd be pretty fucking upset when one didn't turn up at my door 2 weeks later.

Fact #5) JJ Abrams is gay for lens flare. Haven't watched Star Trek? You don't belong here.

There. That's to start us off. I'm sure the 2 of us, and the 3 or 4 random guys who accidentally found their way here searching for porn will appreciate the 7 minutes I put into that list. More to come.

Viva La Raccoon!!